SEXUAL FREEDOM IN NIGERIA

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By James Ibechi

The thrust of this piece is on sexual freedom in Nigeria but I purposely choose to juxtapose it with an opening that the reader may think does not rhyme together with the body. Not because I want to set out to faze my readers but for him or her to discover later their connection.

That said, let’s go. Inspiration Radio 92.3 FM Lagos, used to be my favourite, for the power-filled Sunday sermons that touched and refreshed my soul backed then when the Afro-American velvet broadcaster, mostly notable for his baritone voice, Dan Foster, used to be behind the Mic on morning shift.

Another thing that also competed for my attention, apart from the gospel messages that I used to receive, was music.

Not just any music. Not the genre that commonly dominates the Nigerian airwaves. Not the Wiz Kid’s type, neither Tu baba’s nor the Regae Legend Bob Marley’s kind. Let alone Pasumo’s. It is not nothing close to all these.

But I am talking about Contemporary Christian Rock songs like, ‘I still believe’ by Jeremy Camp, ‘Jesus Saves’, ‘We give you glory’, ‘Break Every Chain’, ‘Love you Forever’ all by Tasha Cobbs; and there are some also played by other gospel artistes like Casting Crown, Tonya Baker, Rita Springer, Tenth Avenue, etc.

However, the FM rhythm has changed a little bit since Dan Foster no longer comes on air on the radio. Neither do I know his whereabouts.

Wherever Dan Foster is, let him know that he’s missed on Inspiration FM, Lagos.

So, after taking a long break from being a regular listener of the FM – since my favourite radio personality has gone into thin air, I decided to go out to a wine bar opposite my wife’s hairdressing and cosmetic salon, just to unwind with a long time Igbo friend of mine. He’s now an american citizen and in Nigeria for a visit.
I got to the arena earlier and had to wait for him. Meanwhile, it sprang to my mind, since the day was Sunday, to tune again to Inspiration Radio, as I thought i could be lucky to get a hold of Dan Foster on air again.

While I did that to no avail, there was a married woman that serve in the pub. I am very conversant with her. The woman received a guy, very fine looking, immediately he alighted from the Jeep he drove to the spot, into a very warm embrace. She hugged him thrice to the extent that when my friend arrived too, I hardly gave him full attention, as my eyes remained fixed on the lovebirds. The climax was the hot kiss that the man launched out to the woman in the glare of everybody in that drinking joint.

The man in question, I do not have a clue as to who he was but I used to know the woman and her husband.

The married couple must be in its 40s. And they are Yorubas.

Wanting to satisfy my curiosity, i asked if their union is very much intact or they have divorced. The answer I got was shocking.

The husband once clashed with his wife when he learnt of the extra-marital affair involving her, but my source wondered that since that time the bizarre open relationship with the woman has rather continued.

The shocking angle is that she’s still married to her husband. And her lover in question is someone said to have married not quite long ago.

So what possibly could have gone wrong somewhere remained the subject of our discussion as my friend and I were sipping our wine.

And as we sat there, the other lady who was giving me all the information came whispered to me saying what I saw was a tip of the iceberg, and that, it is the order of the day on that street. Virtually everyone married lady there has either another boy, or sugar daddy friend that service her.

Who is the beneficiary of such sexual affairs is what I am researching into.

I choose to write this because, my observation during my two-year stint in Oju LGA of Benue State, that also accessed me frequently with Makurdi night life, is not different from my last Sunday encounter in Lagos.

There in Igede, it has become a modern article of faith that sexual freedom spells greater happiness for men and women who indulge in it.

Attempt to repress sexual freedom is now bad for health. Married people abandon their wives at home and take to drinking joints other men’s wives. And the proliferation of hotels for lodging and accommodation in the area has made sexual-free-for-all at any time with any woman, girl or boy, easy, in my fatherland.

But what could be more absurd and infuriating to God than to hear a man approve of adultery just for mere momentary pleasure, than saying, “what sex could be more sweeter than knowing that you are on top of another man’s wife?” Sodom and Gomorrah in Nigeria!

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